(These are really good and to the point in some cases)Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked
readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,
subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are
the winners:
1. Cashtration (n):
The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an***hole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which
lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone ( n): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately,
shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the
purpose of getting lucky.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic
wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are
running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon:
It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right?
And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n):
The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming
only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem
smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n):The frantic dance performed
just after you'veaccidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that
gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n): The color you turn after finding
half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
The Washington Post has also published
the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:
1. Coffee (n): The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj): Appalled by discovering how much weight one has
gained.
3. Abdicate (v): To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v): To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj): Impotent.
6. Negligent (adj): Absent mindedly answering the door
when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph (v):To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n): Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n): Emergency vehicle that picks up
someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n): A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n): A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n): The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n): A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n): A person who sprinkles his conversation
with yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n): The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto
the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n): An opening in the front of boxer
shorts worn by Jewish men.
Subject: A bit of wit for these crazed days....from the Washington Post 
Tue Jan 06, 2009 3:00 pm
Those were great wyo, thanks! 
